It couldn't last, could it? Nothing has changed but my outlook. Suddenly my mind does not understand 'lets go out and have fun' with other people. Instead I want to stay home and crawl up into a little corner.
I am majorly confused with all of my newest relationships. The easiest to understand is the most devious and simultaneously annoying. I misunderstood something last time we met and the entire elaborate structure collapsed into a pile of rubble, then collapsed further by elementary reactions into some sort of mush like a cooking experiment gone wrong. Somehow I still believe in it, that it could work so ridiculously easily. What should I do about it? I may even be seeing the person today.
I don't know whether I've stated this before. Hope is my least favorite emotion of all time. It's like a puff of air so immaterial and yet drives everyone to do the stupidest things. I learned this the hard way.
False hope is even worse unless you know that it is false hope, in which case it becomes like a drug where you know the detrimental effects already like smoking.
Enough angsting! I have decided that I will be getting a new short haircut! I love having long hair. It's a hassle but it looks way cool. I don't know how girls manage to grow it so long and keep it that way. So I've decided that I don't actually care about devilish good looks and will be getting it cut off as soon as the sky clears and it turns into scorching heat, in about 3-4 days I expect.
NaNo post to follow :3
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
A social life!?
I can't believe what is happening to me. Since when did I become even minorly popular. It's not like I have the same sort of social life as most other people, like my little sister, social butterfly that she is, but I'm meeting so many new people and right at the time when I have no time!
It's exam period. I have to ration what I do with a heavy dose of studying every day. Although the past two nights I have spent watching tv (tonight) and reading teh atlas (last night) obsessively almost for 5 hours. I spent this afternoon reading through an HSC text, English Canon I think it is called and this morning playing Dwarf Fortress after the trader gave me a bad deal and I ragequit the game that I had been playing. I had a poorly laid out fortress that was virtually impossible to defend but was successfully making adamantium goods.
Meanwhile I'm meant to be writing my novel. It has been going really well so far. I've come to terms with a lot of the 'don'ts' of NaNoWriMo very quickly - most of them are just remembered. So now I'm moving on to a seriously structured story.
What does that have to do with a social life?... well, I've met so many writers through NaNoWriMo and have been wanting so much to just spend hours chatting with some of them. I even had a dream about one, but I'll leave that as a secret so I don't frighten him/her. I may even tell the person. It should be considered an honor to be promoted to figment of my imagination! (and real life human too :P)
On top of that I have met so many wonderful people this year at university. I mean, there are only really a small number but they are so nice and full of character that it's impossible to belittle any. I need to keep in contact is what the little voice in my head is telling me.
It's exam period. I have to ration what I do with a heavy dose of studying every day. Although the past two nights I have spent watching tv (tonight) and reading teh atlas (last night) obsessively almost for 5 hours. I spent this afternoon reading through an HSC text, English Canon I think it is called and this morning playing Dwarf Fortress after the trader gave me a bad deal and I ragequit the game that I had been playing. I had a poorly laid out fortress that was virtually impossible to defend but was successfully making adamantium goods.
Meanwhile I'm meant to be writing my novel. It has been going really well so far. I've come to terms with a lot of the 'don'ts' of NaNoWriMo very quickly - most of them are just remembered. So now I'm moving on to a seriously structured story.
What does that have to do with a social life?... well, I've met so many writers through NaNoWriMo and have been wanting so much to just spend hours chatting with some of them. I even had a dream about one, but I'll leave that as a secret so I don't frighten him/her. I may even tell the person. It should be considered an honor to be promoted to figment of my imagination! (and real life human too :P)
On top of that I have met so many wonderful people this year at university. I mean, there are only really a small number but they are so nice and full of character that it's impossible to belittle any. I need to keep in contact is what the little voice in my head is telling me.
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