Gruahhh, I had a fun night killing zombies. I was in the mood to play, but definitely not in the zone. In fact I was so far out of the zone that the times that I didn't hang back and mess around taking pot shots and waiting for the zombies to rush at us, I was shooting cars to set off alarms and rushing forward to get swarmed and knocked down. The only part I did succeed at consisted of relentlessly shooting tanks and shoving stuff in survival mode, and even then I had to be saved multiple times, often resulting in our entire team getting swarmed and knocked down.
So just when I was starting to get good at it, I've become really disheartened with socializing and talking to people. I don't want to feel as though I'm forcing my ideas onto them but it's unavoidable when everyone is so damn cold. It's even worse than that. I know for a fact that they are not cold people (sorry, I should explain, I think of book characters partly in terms of temperature, there are a wide range of tepid areas but mostly people fall into the categories of hot and cold - either is fine and identity inseparable. I am certainly hot.) they're just acting that way because idno. There are possible reasons that I can't be sure of, one is that they are trying to restrict me just through natural opposition to 'strangers' and I'm a stranger to EVERYONE (my mother? Forget it, I could have been adopted! She said last night, "it's only a book" and I'm still brooding over it (that phrase is not okay with me in ANY context)), another is that the people I talk to fundamentally interact through opposition to any subject matter, and yet another that they really don't care (why engage in conversation in the first place?). You know what? Every possible reason disturbs me.
Speech is such a ridiculously complex system. Moreso in cases where the proponents don't want or aren't trying to connect/comprehend.
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