Shift

Today I arrived home from Melbourne, we went to Barney's funeral on Tuesday. Barney is the nickname I've always called my Grandfather. I can't imagine calling him anything else.

About a month ago I had lunch with Albert, just a friend, at Pancakes on the Rocks. I also ordered a coffee liqueur, tia maria coffee. It was very nice to be so slightly drunk and still buzzing for hours. As the effects of the coffee wore off I had said goodbye and was reading (unproductively) at the library. I looked out the glass wall at the park a distance away where all the kids were playing and at that moment fell in love with the world, that's what it felt like. I didn't understand what this meant at first, just a passing fancy, a twist of the tongue to explain that complicated emotion. I have learned since that it is so much more. The phrase seems to explain a higher dimension of feeling that I occasionally enter.

On the trip down I kept getting distracted by Jas playing The Big Bang Theory S2 on his laptop but even then the higher dimension was a thin membrane away, utterly unreachable until I could focus. It wasn't until Barney's funeral the next day that I slipped into that state again (partly as a refuge from the extremely indoctrinating church speeches). It was nice, and I began to think in words again.

The little party afterward was a blast; Erin, my other cousin finally looked at me like a human being; Adam was great as always; Mary, who I just met, made fun of me because my goal of becoming a teacher would require rural service - Mary was awesome, she had recently been to Iceland; Melissa got drunk quickly and somehow we started talking about the sims and video games with David, who's into FPS; there was some initial talk about Barney's life that I had never previously been privy to; and some of Ben's primary school friends were there badmouthing whichever church owned the school.

I had already recovered from the news of his death. I realized after a little time that I only felt the duty of sadness. It morphs easily into support for my mother. Whether that little tick that made my left eye water on the day was some repressed subconscious trying to get out I don't know.

Wednesday was awesome fun. I haven't been out clothes shopping in ages and not since a quantum leap in my critical abilities. I didn't buy any (of that damn mass produced expensive) clothing, but I did have some very nice chats with a few shopkeepers. AAAND I FOUND A GO BOARD! A magnetic go board!!! So happy about that. Now I can review my games in the peace of my own room and experiment with the stones. I guess you can say I'm very close to social recovery.

Uhh, so now the stuff that is fresh in my mind. Today on the drive home I could barely see in the morning brightness and hence gave a lot of thought to my vampire story. Do you think they would trust a human to mobilize their coffins? What sort of human would that have to be? I think that if he/she won't explore the world of Vampires him/herself then there must exist a trust of the Vampire's intelligence and record keeping abilities, or else he/she's losing valuable information in the history of the world. Else maybe he/she doesn't care and wants the money. It's hard to believe, but also a shortcut option that may add some needed realism. Can they survive by stepping around sunbeams in their home at first, looking for cracks in the window blinds? Can they go out fully clothed? They would have to wear sunglasses. Ultimately I want to write in some of my own myopic pain.

When I could see outside again I noticed a few signs and things. "We Buy Metal" and "The Poets Recall Hotel" were two of my favorite. The burnt and rotted tips of trees rose out of the brown grass like the mast of a shipwreck, swallowed in the grass and yes, the majority of that extensive root network is hidden from view and being sapped away into the soil. The road reflects until on those high banking curves the railing melds with the blacktop and you're chasing a mirror dimension. These were some of my thoughts. I am seeing the world in a different view. I'm eager to see how it evolves.

Xmas

DAMN I need to get a twitter image account, or just any photo dropping zone to link to. I've been very lax on that front for a long time.

Christmas was full of lame, but I was happy for the presents :) We eventually played Spore from 2130 - 0300 Jas is already so wasted and he's going on a cruise today.

Morning after is nice, I had crazy dreams. I was talking to a black guy with beautiful green eyes. He had just asked me where I had left my leather jacket (actually that day I had worn a long sleeve shirt over my t) because he wouldn't be caught without it in Amsterdam. He lived there and went back every holidays to see family. That's just the last fragment, you don't get anymore than that!

I HAVE to see Avatar soon! I can't wait until we go to Melbourne; feels like I'm disconnected from the world of entertainment and certain social circles until I do.

I took the dogs for a walk today while the cleaners were here. It's a very silly thing to have cleaners, imo a house is pretty easy to maintain to that level. I'm worried more about the pipes, I swear this water tastes funny. It makes me want to drink tea (with the hot, boiled water) a lot more.

Anyway, the park was great fun. I just let the dogs run wild and they actually did! I was able to read a book without needing to watch them too much. Alas it was not to last, soon enough I had to join in. I didn't mind the heat or getting wet when I tried to fill my water bottle with the bubbler that has a stick wedged in there. It was a very kiddy thing, I climbed a tree and could have gone higher (the branches were perfect and twisted so weirdly) and I even attempted a handstand. Bruno is so beautiful, he completely wore himself out. He looked at me like he expected to be carried home.

I saw a guy today reading a book while walking like I always used to do before music players. I really liked his style. He was an obese man, tall enough to offset it. He was wearing jeans and these big red boots on the outside and a rimmed hat. I always considered them so daggy, but it obviously works with a long black coat and sunnies, why not normal clothes? I should really try that out.

If I were to describe today, it would be the day I learned to love the bomb.

Oh Christmas tree

Oh Vey! I am now a 7k on kgs. I had the best game with a guy called phamcuong (6k). He was set to beat me but made a mistake which led to insane amounts of reading from both of us, which we both screwed up spectacularly. I've already reviewed it twice, and added him as a buddy because his style of play looks so professional.

I have the presents. Still not enough for mum, I want to take her jewelery shopping after Christmas and maybe get something for myself

I decorated the Christmas tree today with Bronte. It was the first day we had the tree in the house, so I'm still waiting for that pine smell to attach itself to everything in sight and make it really feel like christmas. When I'm all grown up and all the trees are dead I will fill my house with pine scented fragrance each year.

Present trip!

I went shopping today for christmas presents, late isn't it. A couple of failures for some people like my mother. They didn't have the type of hand-cream she asked me to get for her. Now I have to think of something new.

I have dark chocolates, which I know she'll love, and a book called "Confessions of a Shopaholic" maybe you've heard of it? I also have to cater something to Stef, dad's gf. So alternately I could give the book to her. It has a feeling about it, as if anyone that reads it will be instantaneously more enlightened by the preoccupations of other relatively normal people. Forgive me for being underhanded in my motives; I think it could do either of them a world of good.

The deciding factor shall be whether I can find a digital tv settopbox as a joint present for Dad and Stef. Otherwise I will again be screwed, having nothing for Dad and I already feel like I've used up my allowance of books as presents. I would love to get someone stationery as a gift, but alas the only person that would work on is me. I hope Bronte understands that enough this year to get me some damn stationery!

I also saw a great looking umbrella in Morning Glory, which I will have to go back for. It wasn't a fold up one either, a proper umbrella if a little flimsy with the wires.

I also went to Basement Books. Oh WOW. That place has it all. I don't really mean that, but they have so much at decent prices! It's like every single item they have is worth an entire selection from any other chain bookstore.

Morning after

Woo, last night I pushed the limits of my own body with alcohol. One more drink and I would have vomited.

Oh boy! That was an awesome night. Methinks Karsoe is a little embarrassed about showing his age to the little kiddies, but he is such a great guy. And he told us some really cool stuff about little shops and people and culture in Vietnam and Cambodia (sorry, but I couldn't help thinking 'I'm sitting next to the Comedian!'). It makes me want to travel.

The first pub we went to was a place called Kelly's on King St. Newtown. where the guitarist cleared us out with way too loud speakers over the top of Lisa's chosen songs from the jukebox. Kelly's is exactly what I think of when someone mentions a pub. It was all old wooden ramps and staircases, tables and short chairs in plentiful supply, really sturdy. The second place is the Angel hotel on Pitt St. where James broke a glass and Paul spilled his last beer. Poor guys. I was able to hold myself really well, considering it was my first time getting that smashed. Boy I paid for it in the morning, nevertheless I'm sticking by my assertion: naw no regrets.

9

Another baduk related post, I played tibet a 6k today in two free blitz games. Wow, were they complex. We were on the verge of forming a gigantic seki at one point before I played something stupid and lost. The second game we fought, starting with a cross cut. At the end tibet said, 'thank you for the lesson'. It's a big compliment.

I am hot and bodily tired even though my mind is well awake and actually pretty peaceful now. I saw a movie today called 9. It was fantastic animation - and that's why I went to see it - with a great ending.

I beat a 4k today in the game of go / wei-chi / baduk. It was a 4 handicap game, which is right for my nominal 8k. In fact I was more than victorious, I was able to control over 3/5ths of the board by the time he resigned. It's hard to challenge the higher kyu players, they all want to keep their rank and so don't bother playing anyone lower than themselves. It's a failing of the KGS servers.

I would love today to start writing but my creative energies have been depleted of late. Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters is lying on my bed and I can't read it at a normal speed. Something is definitely wrong. I'm sure this weather is a part of it. I keep feeling really sleepy around 5pm.

Since it hasn't been mentioned before here I will take this opportunity to explain. I'm myopic. This means that I can barely see in the sunlight. Combine that with pale skin and I'm virtually a vampire :D

/end tangent

Immortality of the Undead

For the first time today I felt like I was truly on holidays again. It's weird this sense of nostalgia, I suspect it's associated with picking up Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire again. The language has an old quality to it from a time when I used to pay attention to the words in books. I never finished the book before to be honest, I held reservations against Lestat. I still think he is a fool, in a lighthearted way because he doesn't practice what he preaches else he would never have come back for Louis and Claudia. I could not previously understand the deep workings of Louis' mind either. Neither could he of course.

Moreover, right now, I'm simply vulnerable. The subtle interplay between Louis and Armand is sparking dormant areas of my brain that probably shut down in self defense. I wish I had someone to share this night with.

Erotica Immersion

Go me! I beat a 1 dan giving me 6 handicap stones today. That makes me at least a 5k (3k better than the stupid kgs ranking system).

This really nice guy at the club, Barry taught me some really cool lessons about probes and how high dan players will exchange instabilities in their game, for example you can count up the number of bad shapes and it should be about equal. He also showed me how to tennuki again. I should remember how to do that more often :(

So I'm reading Laurell K Hamilton's 3rd book in the fey series: "Seduced by Moonlight" and whoa. I should not be reading this in public! I was blushing half the time as I imagined-
At this point I should warn the little kiddies that if there's any big words you don't understand in this blog, then I'm probably talking about sex. Oh and SPOILER alert!
(where is the spoiler button?) Anyway, the MC describes in detail what it's like to take it in the mouth and the nether regions at the same time. I seem to recall something about binary suns meeting in the centre. It's all 1st person perspective.
There's also the underwater scene where she gets fucked by the welsh god of the sea, who pours a heated ocean into/through her.
Not all of the guys are treated like emotionless tools either. That's refreshing. I'm going to enjoy this series.

Sick Day

I woke up today with a tummy ache, weird o_O. That's never happened before, but I am a little sick recently. I've learned to cope with sickness though as if it's a state of being.

So I stayed inside all day and am reading. I finished Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Memories of my Melancholy Whores and am now continuing Laurell K Hamilton's Seduced by Moonlight. I will deny my temptation to write a review today, Memories seems like a book that I will only appreciate the second time I read it (years from now). At least I was able to convey to one of the librarians at Campsie Library the greatness of Marquez. She's reserved the book the day I borrowed it. I need to return it soon!

Damn this slow torrent! I want to finish dling DMC Live Action so I can watch it with my friends in a movie night. Lun already has another movie in mind and we're going to watch that at his place when we can. Unfortunately Kat's in Melbourne and Zoja will be taking a summer internship at the Snowy Hydro. Zoja can train it back to Sydney on weekends so the best time will probably be whenever Kat gets back!
I should feel useless at this point, being the jobless bum that I am. But I don't. I just finished NaNo and have a myriad of things to do.

That reminds me, results are out for last term and I passed all my subjects! That's a comforting sign (esp. considering how much I procrastinated last term).

"One ah ah ah." - The Count

WOO HOO first blog post!!!
This blog is connected to my primary email address so I better not stuff it up too much.

I'll state now my intentions to give this blog a new look with an orange and black themed template and 3D graphics. Maybe a measure of light blue for variation.

Is this Times New Roman? hmm, what's lucidia grande? courier ugh.Trebuchet is a nice font imo. I'm going to use this from now on. It used to be one of my early favorite fonts, now I think I like Sylfaen best but that's not available.

This is a general blog and will be a cacaphonous medley of my life. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I will enjoy creating it.